I’ve never been great at making sensible factual arguments that other people understand. If I want something, I just want it. That’s exactly how desire works. Desire does not always make any sense. That is one of the biggest roadblocks for desire. It’s messy. It will fuck up your life the way you know it. It will definitely do that. You sensibly think you want x, y and z. Then you get it and it wasn’t what you wanted at all. It was empty calories, but the really fun stuff looks kind of nutty. So when I ask people “So what do you want?”, they answer “I don’t know.”. We don’t have a muscle built to readily express our desire. There is a practice where we can train that muscle, which is called orgasmic meditation (OM). In an OM I can ask for adjustments or give offers. It’s a start. Finally, I have realized that I can have it. That nutty thing I really want.