Fantastically filmed!

Directed by Spike Jonze

I know. It’s so old to be over Christmas. I just can’t help being sick of it, though. My guess is that as we grow up there is a bitter jaded cynical unchristmas person inside of all of us. It’s all the weird family members one has to endure, meaningless traditions, the puppy I never will get and all the fatty foods in a combo evil mix that does me in every year. Since I’ve been doing quite a bit of meditation lately, I decided that I wanted to try and improve my cynical attitude towards the whole situation by doing some Metta meditation. A more spiritual approach to Christmas.

“The Pali word ‘Metta’ is commonly translated in English as ‘loving-kindness.’ Metta signifies friendship and non-violence as well as “a strong wish for the happiness of others.” Though it refers to many seemingly disparate ideas, Metta is in fact a very specific form of love — a caring for another independent of all self-interest — and thus is likened to one’s love for one’s child or parent. Understandably, this energy is often difficult to describe with words; however, in the practice of Metta meditation, one recites specific words and phrases in order to evoke this “boundless warm-hearted feeling.” The strength of this feeling is not limited to or by family, religion, or social class. Indeed, Metta is a tool that permits one’s generosity and kindness to be applied to all beings and, as a consequence, one finds true happiness in another person’s happiness, no matter who the individual is.”

3S

I’ve found some phrases which are personally meaningful to me. Here are some other helpful examples on useful phrases to use during Metta:

1. May I(He/She) be safe and protected.
2. May I(He/She) be peaceful and happy.
3. May I(He/She) be healthy and strong.
4. May I(He/She) have ease of well being (and accept all the conditions of the world)

I begin by focusing on my breathing, just to get my body and mind calm. Then I start saying the Metta phrases soundlessly inside. When I do this I start getting a warm feeling inside after a little while. After about 10 minutes I change focus to my primary Metta person, which is someone I care for and don’t have a sexual relationship with. After another 10 minutes I change focus again, to a person that I have a neutral relationship with, for example a politician. Then I change focus to someone who I have found annoying in some way. It can be very provoking conjuring up god feelings for someone I dislike, BUT it changes my irritation and that’s the most important thing. Lastly, I go on to send Metta to all living things.

Metta meditation makes me feel better about people and even places I feel I have issues with. I guess I’ve always been a person who easily let other people get to me. In general, meditation helps me with that and makes me more grounded, calm and relaxed, while Metta meditation specifically helps me to get in touch with my good feelings. It helped me get a harmonious Christmas Holiday this year.

This video seems so appropriate since I just saw AJ Schnack documentary “About A Son” about Kurt Cobain aaaaaaand Steven Sebring’s film “Dream of Life” about Patti Smith at Cph:Dox Film Festival this weekend. Patti Smith gave an acoustic concert after the film and she was phenomenal. Her voice and words are amazing. A 60’s icon, punk poet, peace activist and…a photographer.

http://www.williamlamson.com

I stopped reading books after I graduated from Uni. I guess I was sick of dealing with words on paper for hours and hours every day. So I flushed out stories and poetry along with the scientific articles and heavy ass academic prose. Now, I’m slowly getting my desire for words back. A bunch of books is waiting in neat stacks for my sweet attention. My mind is longing for a great story to satisfy it. My heart is pleading for emotional triggering. I’m more ruthless than before, I will chuck a book that doesn’t speak to me out the window. Fuck, I love these dark afternoons. There is nothing else to do than to find a quiet café after work and dive into another world.

Sometimes, I wonder if my chase for certain things does more damage than good? There have been times where I know I’ve exceeded certain boundaries where I could have been more considerate. Or I’ve endured pain where I could have let go a lot earlier. So, even if I succeeded in getting what I wanted, it ended up bittersweet because the process was ruined. It’s not all about the goal and getting there. It’s about getting things done in a good way. It’s not new. I just had to figure it out for myself.

I actually really enjoy the month November. It’s the most quiet month of the year for me and boy, am I going to take full advantage of that. I have an urge to just sit still with my cup of coffee in hand and stare at at the drops of water on my window.

Love, love, love the pedal!

I can’t decide whether I love the banjo music or the wee baby dancing more. I just know that I use this video as a pick-me-up whenever I need to cheer myself up :-)

“Find your obsession. Every day, explain it to one person you respect. Edit everything, skip shortcuts, and try not to be a dick. Get better.”

Ahahahahahaha, I have a looooooooong way to go. Jesus. Bloody hell. (It’s my blog and I can curse as much as I want to.)

I’ve been moving between different worlds these past few days and it feels very strange. I’ve spent two wonderful weeks in Norway at my parents place. Soaking summer sun, reading, relaxing and fishing. Eating strawberries…every day. I entered a mode where I started to have some surplus energy to spend creatively and it felt wonderful. I want to feel like that more often. Then I attended a funeral of a dear person yesterday. Today I was back at work. Different geography, different emotions…different worlds. I’ll catch up with it all. I just need to linger for a minute.

“When the routine bites hard
And ambitions are low
And the resentment rides high
But emotions wont grow
And were changing our ways,
Taking different roads
Then love, love will tear us apart again

Why is the bedroom so cold
Turned away on your side?
Is my timing that flawed,
Our respect run so dry?
Yet theres still this appeal
That weve kept through our lives
Love, love will tear us apart again

Do you cry out in your sleep
All my failings expose?
Get a taste in my mouth
As desperation takes hold
Is it something so good
Just cant function no more?
When love, love will tear us apart again”

- by
Joy Division (1980)

A few precious hours remains of my Easter holiday and I have already started to tune myself into the upcoming week’s tasks. These five days off have been unusually relaxing. I’ve spent the days drinking coffee, reading, surfing on the Internet…it’s been wonderful. It’s been so lovely that I’ve already asked my boss for another week off in the end of April. I need something to look forward to. One of my goals for 2008 was to get better at stress management. I feel that I have been conscious about my stress levels for quite some time now and that I have tried different things to better deal with it. I tried to change some outer factors, like going home from work at five every day, even if the load of work kept piling up. Also, saying no to a lot of things to reduce the amount of things I’d commit to doing. After trying a number of things like that, I still felt exhausted and tired, even when I didn’t have a lot going on. So, in February I started doing breathing exercises and Mindfulness meditation.
How well is all of this going for me? The ten minute breathing exercise every morning was an instant success and I dare say that it has saved my life. I have a greater focus on my breathing throughout the day and it seems to bring a greater balance into my life. I’m much more calm in general and in chaotic situations I seem to be more collected than I usually would be. I experienced for instance a project manager screaming in my face in frustration over deadline delays on my part for a programing task. I was completely cool while he threw a major tantrum. I salute the breathing exercises for this. I slowly breathe all the way into my tummy, which obviously puts me in a parallel universe (ahaha….off she went) where I’m immune towards the blows of hyperventilation and the rest of the ugliness that lack of oxygen can cause in your brain.
Now, the meditation, what does it do for me? I’m still not sure. I was super hesitant to start meditating, because I’ve tried to meditate regularly before and it did nothing for me. In Mindfulness meditation I focus on my diaphragm, there is no mantra involved…which is a good thing for me. I think it’s better to focus on my body than on something in my head. I guess it’s a process and I’m told that I’ll notice improvement in concentration if I keep at it. I’ll give it a go.
The bottom line is, these two things, breathing exercises and meditation together somehow makes me feel more balanced and I deal with stressful circumstances in a much better way than before. So far, it is more than I expected.

…the first real snow of the year fell today in Copenhagen. Geezus! Please disregard my false epiphany of spring in that last disillusional post. I’m clearly confused and have no clue what’s going on. It’s still March, which is a winter month. Sitting inside, under a warm blanket is not so bad either. Tell you what, spring can go and bite her own bum. SEE IF I BLOODY CARE.

It’s something in the air, I can feel it! Spring is definitely around the corner. I feel exhilarated by the awakening energy around me. Also, I’m looking forward to having coffees outside in the sunshine again.

Happy Valentines Day!

I have mixed feelings about Valentines Day. It’s good to be reminded of love and romance. It’s bad that it puts a bit of pressure and create rules on how to celebrate love.