Note To Self

Giving It Language

I’m experiencing so much amazingness these days. I want to practice to give extraordinary a language and it’s not easy to describe these things. It’s is so important to articulate the fantastic. Giving language to the extraordinary helps me experience more of it.

The other day I could not help overhearing a colleague talking about all the crazy dreams he had during his sleep and as the story went on I noticed how envious I became listening to it. I want to dream, too! I know that we all dream even if we don’t remember them. I also want to remember my dreams. It’s been years since I’ve had any dreams I could remember. I’m usually so tired at night that I’m asleep before my head hits the pillow and then I wake up when the alarm clock rings ….and…that’s it. Dreamless sleep. That’s terrible. I’ll start taking a couple of minutes in bed in the morning trying to rewind back into my dreams and not jump right into planning my day. Just a couple of minutes, just to see if it helps.

Blurry Reflection



Blurry Reflection, originally uploaded by Annelogue.

Before I could say “blueberry pancake” my calendar is now filled up with events for the upcoming months, that I don’t really want to go to. Shit. How did this happen? I must seriously start saying no to things. I want to play my own game and I’m tired of playing everyone else’s.

The New Approach…



On White, originally uploaded by Annelogue.

… in my life is that I am a work in progress. I’ve spent a long time just observing and longing for things to happen in my life. My main obstacle has been identifying what I want, which was hidden in a mish mash of my own fear and figuring out what I like. So this time I’ve set the the bar very very very low. Like H. Champ I love projects, because I feel that if I break things I want to do, into manageable pieces, it’s easier to get them done. Also, getting things done feels really good.

Ha, Ha, Ha…

I know, I know, I should not be so vindictive….but it just feels goooooooood to be right (sometimes).

Heated



Boy, originally uploaded by Annelogue.

I must not get so angry. Or I mean, I can get angry, but I must not let it get to me in the way it did today. And I’m not PMS, by the way. I’m in a situation right now where I realise that I’m going to get very aggravated probably multiple times a day for the next coming months. So, I’ve decided to become proactive and distance myself from it all as much as possible. I’m going to say what I have to say, communicate my opinions clearly and then if they choose not to listen to my ideas and solutions, I’ll just accept that and calmly continue. It’ll be all zen on my part. I will not let them have the pleasure of my meltdowns any more. I just can’t wait to see their faces, when they realise that they screwed up. I can’t wait.