http://www.annelogue.com/archives/268 :: On How to Fight Like a Girl :: Fri, 18 May 2012 19:47:11 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 http://www.annelogue.com/archives/268#comment-11930 Annelogue Sun, 25 Nov 2007 11:17:07 +0000 http://www.annelogue.com/archives/268#comment-11930 That is a really good point, LK! I've also experienced that when I've decided that I wanted to be single for a loooong time, I'd always meet someone who I really liked. So maybe it's a really attractive thing to exude independence. If I were to be single for the rest of my life I'm absolutely confident that I would be fine, too :-). The loneliness that I often feel when I'm in a relationship, which I don't feel when I'm single, may come from the fact that I loose myself and my natural independence when I'm in a relationship and I have to really work on holding on to myself. That is a really good point, LK! I’ve also experienced that when I’ve decided that I wanted to be single for a loooong time, I’d always meet someone who I really liked. So maybe it’s a really attractive thing to exude independence. If I were to be single for the rest of my life I’m absolutely confident that I would be fine, too :-). The loneliness that I often feel when I’m in a relationship, which I don’t feel when I’m single, may come from the fact that I loose myself and my natural independence when I’m in a relationship and I have to really work on holding on to myself.

]]> http://www.annelogue.com/archives/268#comment-11908 LK Fri, 23 Nov 2007 22:43:32 +0000 http://www.annelogue.com/archives/268#comment-11908 I've been thinking about this post a lot lately. This is certainly how it's been in my life: into my thirties I almost preferred being single, though of course I wasn't always. I liked my independence, I even needed to know that I could be alone indefinitely and I'd be fine. And then something changed. It's not that I didn't want to be alone anymore so much as I realized that indeed, it really would be fine to be alone indefinitely, and I didn't have a point to prove anymore, I could stop worrying about it. That sounds simplistic but it's sort of true anyway. I'm still very surprised that I've been in a relationship for two and a half years now. The same one, I mean. And I'm even more surprised that I'm going to be a mother... But I am quite sure that my relationship wound up working out this time to a large extent because by the time I began it I have actually become very good at independence: being alone made me better at not being alone. I’ve been thinking about this post a lot lately. This is certainly how it’s been in my life: into my thirties I almost preferred being single, though of course I wasn’t always. I liked my independence, I even needed to know that I could be alone indefinitely and I’d be fine. And then something changed. It’s not that I didn’t want to be alone anymore so much as I realized that indeed, it really would be fine to be alone indefinitely, and I didn’t have a point to prove anymore, I could stop worrying about it. That sounds simplistic but it’s sort of true anyway. I’m still very surprised that I’ve been in a relationship for two and a half years now. The same one, I mean. And I’m even more surprised that I’m going to be a mother… But I am quite sure that my relationship wound up working out this time to a large extent because by the time I began it I have actually become very good at independence: being alone made me better at not being alone.

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